Just an illusion. Some sort of existence, created by neurons that does not translate in the physical here. Yet, in my heart – something is aching. Something repetitively disrupting the flow of my thoughts and causing a sense of loss – unexplained loss.
Maybe my heart is just a mere construction of neurons as well.
This is how I could define the abruptness of dating in the metropolitan cities. There are no traces, no explanations – just an abrupt ending. It is like a fantasy. The other is erased out of everyday. Completely. No smiles, no meeting of the eyes, no looking over the shoulder – it is all lost in the maze of millions. Millions of people, cars, shops, tube stations, without an intersecting reality. Traces of individuals moving simultaneously without crossover.
Moving together in the forms of physical or digital presence and then, suddenly, none. No vibrations, no symbols … dead end silence.
But perhaps, there was something real. As my brain, like an old tape record is replaying the same imagery, just with different details. And questions of friends are echoing in my ears: “Where is the cute guy, you kissed in that bar?’