Ironically today is my birthday and I am starting life anew once more.
Strange. The city I thought I knew – I can’t recognise. My eyes go weary looking around. Too much of everything. Roofs, pavement tiles, appearances, shops, food…The beauty in the ugliness. Cars, exhaustion fumes, smell of weed, dark skin.
The beauty in the ugliness. Cars, exhaustion fumes, smell of weed, dark skin. And the sun, and hills, and leaves, and graves, and smiles, and friendliness. And being a student again. Yet, as if living another life, a completely different, unstructured, unconstrained…and lost.
Extremes. Conversations I cannot comprehend. The written words and meanings I cannot grasp. Dictionary. Bible. Constant search for meaning and the truth.
They say ‘through difficulties we grow’. I hope to grow and not to stagnate. I hope to grow without the cost of ageing. Who knows if that is possible?
Development. Challenge. Risk. Living on the edge. Trust. Instability, yet peace.