Scattered

“The cost of seeing the world and learning new perspectives is perhaps becoming a loner in the process.”

My Italian friend who has lived every year in a new country for the last 7 years has shared this quote on Facebook and it just clicked to me how true it is. This quote is taken from this blog: https://brianwongderlust.wordpress.com/2016/01/06/saying-goodbye-to-traveling-friends/

Today was a very relaxed day. Last night I got back home from Jining at around 22:30 and felt extremely exhausted, so I stayed in bed for loooong. Read some articles, thought, read some other articles, kept thinking. Got up at noon made some breakfast, responded to some messages on CS, left a reference for Andy and then went to bed again, just to get up at 14:30 to go to the park. I did a few lapses in the park, tried a couple of outdoor  trainer thingies and got back.

The whole day I have been thinking about life, people, the past and what is going to be next. Numerous times again I realised that a choice to not stay at this job is right, yet tough – requiring to trust. To let go of securities, of something already established and known is hard. Yet, there are certain things that make me want to leave. In the long term, I will be much happier that I left rather than if I stayed.

My expat friend has also left.  And my heart is crying. He was the window to the ‘normal’ reality and just an amazing person to explore, hang out and share observations, frustrations and joys. Not every person is ‘your type of person’ and he was just that – you could talk with him for hours, walk around the city, cook, drink tea and still not be bored. Yet, maybe it is for the better – there are not really many things that would keep me here – just the relative comfort I have already established in this place.

Getting back to the quote…it is fascinating to explore, encounter people you would have never otherwise met, learn about other perspectives, reflect..However, the costs are high too – every person, every place steals a part of your heart. When I think of some of the most amazing people that I am privileged to call friends – they are the ones that don’t stay within their comfort zone – they keep challenging themselves and, unfortunately, as a result, are scattered all over the world.

Maybe, one day we will meet again, all together, in one place.

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